Cuttlefish Parish Council


Role: Contact Name
Unit, Office Building, Street
City, County LE113GE

Tel: 01509 231 233


(By Sue Bailey, Wotton-under-Edge TC)

We're cutting, we're cutting

Its surplus, you say

Budgets need slashing

We can't do it this way

We need to change

Get more for our money

Don't worry, tomorrow

Will still be sunny ….

But toilets are closing

And needing repair

Fewer places for elderly

To dash in despair

Streets no longer cleaned

Weeds are invading

Road craters appearing

Improvements need some translating

Where can kids play

Rough ground's become housing

Developers are king

Emotionally rousing

High St shops turn vacant

In little market towns

These used to be

Cotswold jewels in crowns

But hey the Government has said to us

Don't forget your powers, keep up, don't fuss

Localism we gave you and Powers to raise

Taxes to spend, then you get the praise.

Stop complaining, excessively strutting

Go take the services that we are cutting

A dowry to take them?

Oh don't be silly

Political climate's still

A little chilly

Just do your best

Pat on the head

Scapegoats are needed – take it as read……


(By Richard Crighton, Newland PC)

Once again we come to May

The start of yet another fray

Time to make the Chair's selection

First item is for their election

'Swear' them in, get 'em to sign

Praying that they won't resign

The last thing that you want to do

Is repeat it all in month 2

Come the autumn, time to start

To crunch the numbers; it's an art

Can we balance next year's budget?

Or will we have to simply fudge it!?

December really is the saviour

No meeting (time off for good behaviour?)

But January soon comes around

"Where's all this money to be found?"

Newsletter: time to get adept

At 'selling' the increase in the precept

It's only a few pence every week

It's but a pittance that we seek

So here we are at the end of the year

"What's been achieved?" do we hear?

Everything we said we'd do

Who are we fooling? Not you.

All those things we do for you

Are guided by the statutes true

The LGAs are manna from heaven

Particularly section 137

That's another year completed

Are the coffers really depleted?

But this is where we seek a plaudit

On completion of the audit.

Perhaps next year it's Quality glory

But that would be a whole new story

We know we're good, we're truly resilient

And, what's more, we're flippin' brilliant!!


(By Robert Stone, Twyning PC)

1.) Thou should respect thy Committee for its word on is final once it has communicated and consulted with allotment members and neighbours.

2.) Thy should work with thy Committee to maintain thy allotment for the common good.

3.) Thy should not act by "divine" right to bugger up thy neighbour's land, property, path, drainage or light.

4.) Thy should never enter thy neighbour's allotment or path with heavy machinery of any kind without the prior consultation & warning by the Committee.

5.) Thy should never dump rubbish on thy neighbour's allotment.

6.) Thy should never damage or destroy boundary hedges or trees and walk away without a thought of apology or recompense.

7.) Thy should never extend thy boundaries beyond thy plot.

8.) Thy should never pinch or damage thy neighbour's produce (or sheds and contents)

9.) Thy should never block boundary paths (but be aware that grass footpaths going through allotments are subject to change of cultivation in exactly the same way as any other part of an allotment).

10.) Thy should above all respect thy fellow allotment holders and do by them as thy would expect to be done by. To do otherwise is to invite unhappiness and conflict!


(By Robert Stone, Twyning PC)

It has been said that we

live in interesting times,

If so it has been men that

have made it so,

We of that gender are marked

out by needs and passions,

striving to achieve but often

marked out by lack of ambition.

Some men accept the status quo

banding with others to accept

a common theme.

Others stand out independent of

mind and view,

Some seek to love and be loved,

but there are those who are

blind to such things,

neither seeking popularity nor a

common goal,

rather a lonely pathway

of singular view,

pursuing aims by force of will.

Concensus and discussion not

so much feature as belong to

distant lands,

Set agendas and predetermined

aims in said month become directives

that most feel powerless to debate.

Such were born to dictate and self rule.

Pause for a moment and you will

find you know one such as he,

A team player no, but he can

clearly see the direction he must take,

and it takes a formidable player

to change his course.

People such as this are talented

and not often wrong,

but when they are they can have

great difficulty in saying sorry

and moving on.

More ordinary beings need such

dictators to decide what is to be done.

Thinking is not for them.

Security comes from

one who leads,

and all is well

until prejudice and stubbornness set in.

Worry not, change comes to all

for do we not live

in interesting times?


(By Robert Stone, Twyning PC)

Jack's the name, and grave digging is my trade,

I ply my profession far and wide,

Little do most know that at the end of the day

All share common planting.

Equality is my policy, and diversity universal.

A hole is a hole

When all is said and done

Yet you may be surprised to know

That a man can take pride in moving soil,

In its own way skills and knowledge are required.

For it wouldn't do, wouldn't do at all,

If unbeknown Mr Jones was buried with Mrs Brown

But stranger things do happen

Then unhappiness sets in

Size, shape and position of plot

Are all an exact science before

Anyone goes in.

In days gone by when I was a younger man

All depended on spade, shovel and muscle.

Now I have a van and digger

And must not just perfect my task

But arrive on time and depart

Before the world is aware of my art.

Even then there is more to this job

Than meets the eye,

Sensitivity about damage to

Other long term residents,

And health and safety have their place

After all it wouldn't do, wouldn't do at all

If someone of limited sight

Or unseeing took a fall

For six feet means what it says

And once ventured in new residents

Are intended to permanently reside.

You may be surprised to learn

That I rely in turn on John

The grave digger's mate.

Whilst we rarely meet he is in great demand

His task is even more discreet

For you see he has to patiently wait

Until all is quiet and calm.

Then he comes along for what comes out

Must be shovelled back

Not a glamorous task but one with

Its own skills none the less

For account must be taken of settling

To ensure that all looks well

For the dear departed.

I know I can depend on John

To do his task

But there will come a day

As sure as sure

When I shall require personal

Services from another,

Then I shall look down with my practised eye,

And woebetide my successor

If my plot is not staight and square

And not up to scratch,

For us gravediggers have standards

And must complement one another!


(By Robert Stone, Twyning PC)

Our culture and society is complex and

Underscored by unwritten rules and etiquette,

Whether consciously or not, these affect

Our thinking and self worth

To such an extent that those who

Contribute in a modest way

Think twice before talking of

A job well done, and

Those who really have much to say

Dismiss that role lightly with few words.

This reticence is less

Restrained when describing

The achievements of offspring,

Parental pride then shows as

Exams are passed and careers developed.

Other nations are of course less restrained.

Indeed, even here inventive job titles

Are catching on, and

Luxury motor cars, and personalised

Number plates flourish.

It seems we do care how we are seen

And have a public face,

And private one within.

Yet all achievements have value

And we seem to have lost our

Sense of a job well done.

After all there is not one of us who

Does not depend on dust bin men

Road repairers and sewage operatives, but only

Become aware of their worth

When rubbish piles up, pot holes

Are not filled, and much much worse

When the unmentionables flood.

So perhaps we should take pride

In those who serve, and bolster

Their self worth by appreciation.

Societies come and they go based not

So much on higher level thoughts

As underpinning by those who keep our

Streets clean, keep us secure and work

All hours for their fellow men.

To say as much should be said with pride.


(By Christopher Dunn, Kingswood PC)

Glos'shire county split in two

West gets forgotten, East in full view

Romans crossed west without a bridge

Had a joined up county without a hitch

We need a new bridge to have salt in our stew

'Forest' west is to the left, 'Gloshire' east is to the right

Not the normal political perception in sight ?

We need to read Winnie Foleys's 'Forest' tales

For insight into their poverty and our 'fails'

They need our help to improve their plight

Sabrina Severn should not cause a division hit

Unlike human Sabrina who had plenty to split

Arlingham and Westbury used to be merry

First joined by Ceasar then a ferry

Forest folk need us they have real merit

Jo Cox MP was a joiner, do not forget

Got murdered for her beliefs so much fret

JK Rowling was a Forest girl created the Potter fad

Put Dursley on the map, Potter and my 'Gloshire' Dad

He was 'Dunnbledore', her headmaster in his '70's set